Zine 24: Zeetus Christ Superstar

Follow Zeetus on instagram

Zeetus isn’t an artists artist in the way we’re used to. They aren’t the epitome of the life we expect of artists; they aren’t a Leonard Cohen type whose music plucks quietly in artists minds in studios all over. They are an artists artist because they are willing, wanting and waiting to expel love and nurturing upon an artist. I honestly do not know what makes them happier, their own success or giving a stranger a momentary smile. It’s said that doing good things makes you feel good. And we accept that morsel of self-assuaging that comes with that colloquialisms. But Zeetus is full speed, brick on the gas pedal constant force of love. No matter how you drill down, there’s never a “it makes me feel good” or “for the karma.” For Zeetus, their desire to love and support others isn’t as much the golden rule as it is a fostering figure; a mother’s love. A desire for others’ success on the truest level and a glowing example of what pure collective care looks like. Zeetus is a human we all need but don’t deserve. And yet, Zeetus would probably claim they don’t deserve us. Because to them, they’re just thankful to have people to make happy. 

Baby Ballou: What was the last project or thing, any kind at all, that you made and made yourself proud?

Zeetus: This most recent set for Dream House has made me proud recently. This pandemic has been very stifling when it comes to creativity for me. When Bunny asked me to DJ for Topo Chico Fet, it made me feel excited to be a part of something. The music I made for this one is very fun and the visuals for them are something I’m so excited for folks to see. I don’t want to give too much away  yet, but I bring in an old talent I used to practice a lot and mixing that element in with this music I’ve been creating makes me feel proud that I’ve kept trying to elevate anything I get myself into. To make it short, I’m proud of being asked to showcase hobbies that make me happy.

BB: I love that because I think people place all their happiness in a dream they can successfully monetize. And there’s something beautifully punk about loving the fuck out of your hobbies. Speaking of, how have you been passing the time through this ridiculously long lockdown and social upheaval.

Zeetus: Exactly :) !! God, these days I’ve mostly been on autopilot if I’m honesty. I live alone with my cat so most of the time I’m just reciting stoned monologues to Selene (my cat). I’ve gone feral most days lmao. I’ve definitely fallen into binging tv shows again; movies, shows, and music have always been the closest to me as I am an only child. Some full escapism is all I want these days. On a productive end, I’ve been into making music! I’ve always loved the energy a mix can give me. I’ve just wanted to make things that make people feel something. In music I make, I aim for a nostalgic disco/house vibe. Besides just moving to fun rhythms, I’ve also been making video edits with my mixes or songs that bring something visceral out of me. I’m just throwing creative ideas into the void since the world is in chaos. Maybe something I make will bring someone joy in the midst of a hard day in the darkest timeline. Basically, I’ve just wanted to create things that bring joy during this hard time because I know that’s all I want during this.

BB: Wowowowow twin flames on o much of that last part. I really feel how much love you want to put out into the world. For me, I’m not an only child but my sister was older than me by enough that I lived in the house for more time without her than I did with so I kind of identify as an only child in development. But I would really escape into pop culture and find friends in idols and joys in consumption. I just like finding new peoples art to absorb and enjoy. So this zine is my way of sending out joy to the world cause I’m trying to share new artists for people to consume because (like a great human just said above this very message) I know that’s all I want during this. Has the chaos of the world made you more confident or more uninhibited about sharing your creative work online? Was there any catalyst that sparked your decision to really nurture these instincts?

Zeetus: That’s exactly what it is! I’m so glad you’re making this especially now when people need an escape. I genuinely feel the chaos of the world has given me mixed feelings about sharing my creative work. A part of me is very apathetic to seeing my content in the world. There’s a sense of hopelessness throughout all of this and I think “what makes me think people would even care about this” but then there’s a piece of me that sees art or hears music from certain periods of history that reflects our current climate and it’s amazing. Seeing people still try to make something beautiful out of there ugliest of times. So it’s a mixed bag for me, depending on my mood swing of the day 🥴 But it always feels great when I do put something out there and people really enjoy it. TW//Self harm/Suic*de Towards the end of the summer, so much came to a head for me mentally. I was trying to be creative but there was a certain block for years. The pandemic made me really have to sit alone with my trauma and ponder it without an outlet. I tried to end my life in August (2020). When my attempt didn’t work, I just needed something to do to distract my intrusive thoughts. I’ve always had a creative side but the act of creating became more therapeutic. I got to express my feelings through video edits or making music. The beats, rhythm and melody tell the story of how I felt that moment. I know not everyone will get it, but just being about to put it out there and getting some sort of positive reaction makes everything worth it. I hope that inspires someone to take a step back and try to release their bad thoughts into something they are proud of. It’s so hard but even just writing one word down will make you fall into some sort of release.

BB: I appreciate you sharing that with me, and I’m glad you’re feeling in a different place. I haven’t attempted since high school but I also haven’t full been able to find purpose outside of knowing other people would be hurt. But I had a similar experience, though obviously your experience is your own and I can’t claim to know it truly, but I just had a tips of my toes touching rock bottom moment and I just started translating peoples art like this. I know what you mean. There’s something to not needing it to reach a certain height or be received universally, it’s almost like you’ve carved yourself a tiny world wherein you have a purpose to be proud of and the world around doesn’t have as much power. What are all the worlds you’ve carved for yourself, you’ve mentioned visuals and songwriting, what else?

Zeetus: That’s exactly it. I’m so glad you are here on this earth with us at this point in time. I mean, the world is pretty shitty but you are here and it sucks less knowing you’re here too!! That’s a very good question! Before quarantine, Iw as writing and doing stand up comedy. That’s my #1 passion. Making people laugh at the difficult stuff in life but also showing them they arent’ alone. I miss being on stage and just sort of reading my diary to strangers. I try to incorporate comedy into all the things I do to show folks that you shouldn’t take yourself to seriously and it’s also a reminder to myself. I love making people laugh, I feel as if that’s sort of my purpose on earth, to make people laugh and show them that they aren’t alone when it comes to trauma.

BB: I don’t like to center myself in interviews but you keep saying things that could come from my own diary. Donald O’Connor performing Make ‘Em Laugh in Singing in the Rain has been my ethos since before I hit double digits. What or who in life or pop culture helped shape the kind of humor you use to make others laugh? What’s your comic ~aesthetic~ lol

Zeetus: I LOVEEE classic Hollywood films like this! They are so timeless with the energy they bring. When it comes to humor, I draw inspiration from mostly family and friends. THe little quirks in a persons mannerisms, the slight inflection in words folks will use. As for people in pop culture, I really feel inspired by the life and works of Robin Williams, Richard Pryor, Gilda Radner, Sarah Silverman and and also sketch comedy folks like the severely underrated Debra Wilson from MadTV, Kristen Wiig, Molly Shannon, and anyone from SNL in the late 90’s to like the 2010’s. That over the top stuff kills me. Mel Brooks, Robin Thede; I can keep naming folks because there’s inspiration everywhere lol. My best friend B says my comic aesthetic is almost “socialist” in a way because I always wrap it up with how we can move forward as a society together. I kind of get riled up at the end because a bit of my passionate side comes out when I try to uplift others. There’s so much self deprecation in humor that it almost feels like you feel sorry for yourself or you become the butt of the joke. While I will make fun of myself, I try to remind myself and others that we are human and we should love ourselves for those wacky things about us. So to REALLY answer your question, I’d say my comic style is sort of if a Care Bear smoked a bunch of weed and looked to be friendly like Mister Rogers or Bob Ross lmao with a sprinkle of Marxist theory shsjsksk

BB: That 👏 image 👏 is 👏 everything 👏 and in this last month or so of chaos on top of the already chaos, what’s been making YOU laugh or feel joy?

Zeetus: It’s been difficult to find the funny in things lately. The world is changing, and people are losing so much. I think my brain’s default mode is to laugh honestly. I laugh at how we could have gotten through this if we all stayed inside for just two weeks. I laugh at old memories of life pre COVID. I guess the chaotic irony that’s playing out before our eyes makes me laugh. I’m alone these days so I’m usually the one making people laugh and hearing laughter makes me laugh. Human interaction makes me laugh and I haven’t had much of it. I feel like Tinker Bell when she dies and needs attention and applause to come back to life lmao. I need laughter and people to bounce jokes off of to laugh. As for joy, I just try to find one thing a day to make me feel okay. Seeing a kid laughing during this brings me joy because that innocents is something we all want but won’t have again. I take joy in seeing children be joyful. Knowing that they are okay and having some sort of fun through this makes me so happy that I almost cry. I’m glad we wear masks because I must look deranged with a giant smile on my face and tears in my eyes when I see children lmaooo

BB: Being so moved, I’m also a cry because someone’s experiencing joy or validation type, and I identify as tinker bell for your reason but also because she can only hold one emotion in her at a time but it’s vibrant. Do you find being very empathetic and sensitive to human emotion makes it hard to hold more than one emotion because it comes so strongly or do you experience an overwhelming of too many different emotions?

Zeetus: I feel a sense of overstimulation when I’m around people. Because of that, I’d definitely say almost go on autopilot because of that. When I was younger, I used to wonder why I’d be very excited and happy one moment, but then after being around a friend who felt down, I’d feel down and they’d be cheerful. It was like me making them feel better made me transfer that energy to them but I didn’t know how to conserve some of that energy for me. I feel other people’s emotions intensely so when I’m in public, especially pre pandemic, I’d get a constant mix of energy from people. Going on public transport these days, I have to blast my music because feeling the weary/depressing vibes everyone has is heartbreaking. I feel like I went on a tangent. To answer your question, yes I do think it’s hard to hold more than one emotion because everything is so all over the place. Especially with social media, you’ll see a success story one second then a horrible tragedy then a cute baby then more tragedy. For me it’s difficult, so being a home body has sort of helped in that sense of not having to feel so much but in reality, I miss a bit of that stimulation because it was a simpler time I guess

BB: So with all of this creating and entertaining for other people, what part of your music or visuals / process is just for you?

Zeetus: For music, it’s making a certain key change or making a good hook that makes me feel like “Oh yeah, I’d shake my ass to this in a club” lol. I make music that I’d want to club to in outer space! Once I give it that funky bass or disco inspired drums and horns, I know im having fun and hoped that translates well with others. For visuals, I like to set the mood I see when I listen to music. I’ve always wanted to direct and make my own films and content. With every song I listen to or even make, I see a story in my mind playing out. If I can make a visual that compliments or even enhance a song or mix for me, that always makes me feel like “Oh yeah, I dig this.” I’m just excited that I’m putting forth effort into experimenting with edits and friends when it comes to video arts

BB: Hehe even in your selfish space, it’s about helping others feel better. A true empath. Besides putting out love and joy, what’re other themes in life that are common or important to you?

Zeetus: Nostalgia plays a big part in the things I do. Things that remind me of being a kid and old pop culture references. I grew up around baby boomers, Gen x folks and older millennials so Old sitcoms, 70s blaxploitation films, scfi, disco, and funk were a part of me and I like oozing that essence when I do anything. But really, just being authentically me is important. I’m a black, indigenous, queer, non binary, mentally ill , jew just existing. It’s important that I just show myself trying and creating. It’s like a form of protest by just saying “Yes, I’m all these things but I’m going to show you what I a made of”. I try to speak up in regular life when it comes to standing for others. I feel like social media makes things so performative sometimes. Yes, it’s a great way to share information and get people talking about things, but I wish people would take that out into regular life. Speaking up for people who are “Othered” is important to me. Being an Other is such a difficult, beautiful, traumatic, and raw experience. We have value and we deserve to be seen, heard,and  uplifted. Instead, we are ridiculed, killed, and pushed to the shadows.. I’m tired of that so the least I can do is speak up about it and show people that I am human. I bleed, I fuck up, I love, I go through bad shit but I exist and that knowledge is sort of cathartic. So Nostalgia, Space, Disco and the Others lol

BB: I think capitalism has put such a strain on our idea of existence. That we’ve forgotten existence shouldn’t be a burden. But systemic racism, homophobia, etc - they all feed off of this idea of being an upstanding member of society. Being all those things you mentioned, in old school phrasing, means you aren’t an upstanding citizen. There’s existence, and then just above it is this man made notion of the basic level of what a human should be. And even though it’s a low bar, it’s also a very limiting one. So existence, as you say, is an act of defiance and beauty. On wanting to speak up and exist in a way that lets others feel good in their existence; what did it feel like to see artistic and music platforms/outlets turn back to whitewashed amplification after only a month or two of the protests earlier this year?

Zeetus: Oh my God, I love that question. Seeing artists and others with huge platforms go back to that wasn’t surprising. It was a Fad. These people only uplifted black & POC when it benefits them. They are they reason white supremacy is so rampant. Entertainment for the most part caters to white people to make them feel safe and still on top and it’s all subliminal. They could have put black and other POC in things way before. They could have stood up for black lives way before now. I feel like being in a pandemic really made people want to be mad and go into the streets for something. What happened to Breonna Taylor and George Floyd last year is nothing new. We’ve had video evidence of these atrocities constantly. Then only thing that made these different were that they came to light when people were already fed up. It’s like the MeToo movement. Seeing these celebrities bring black, brown, and queer activists to award shows was so uncomfortable to me. They paraded these people like accessories and you see how it’s not talked about as much. At the end of the day, people will only care about thing when it affects them. Seeing people post black squares but go back to the same shit didn’t shock me. It kinda pissed me off but then I just remember where I am and that this isn’t knew. We need people in positions of power than can make us as a nation and atone for our ugly past. Once we can have them really work on educating folks about the truth of our foundation, then we can actually have productive conversations where standing for black lives isn’t political but just plan human. After all of that, maybe it won’t feel like the entertainment world is trying to meet a quota. It would be normal to see different shades of people, different relationships, different body types, different cultures and etc on screen and in media.

BB: even in our escapism, us white people have the ability to float away into the consumption but being a Black consumer of pop culture, there’s always a story it didn’t tell the whole of or a canvas made with no space for them. Do you have to acclimate your perspective just to escape into a night of trashy tv or a white cis pop star? Almost like a suspension of disbelief, what would you say it’s a suspension of? If anything

Zeetus: Oh definitely! I was just thinking about that. One minute I’ll start a show and I’ll have to stop it because it plays on old stereotypes that I just can’t  laugh at. Before being aware of how certain words, phrases or situations diminish someone’s validity, it was easy to make light of offensive jokes. After you know the history of why it’s offensive, it’s just not cute. It’s hard to find a show or movie that doesn’t shit on black people, POC, LQBTQ+ and disable people. Lately, some streaming networks have been trying to get better writing especially for marginalized voices but there’s a lot of work to be done. Tv these days, I need an escape from the stuff playing out in real time. It’s hard to separate that sometimes.

BB: How do you wanna create/contribute to escapism for marginalized people in the future?

Zeetus: I just want to put them in roles that we see mostly white, cis, able bodied people in. I wanna see a Disabled person as the main character in a fantasy film. I want to see a Muslim Sci Fi film. I want to see a trans Disney Princess. I eventually want to make my own production company and distribute films based on the everyday lives of marginalized people. To be able to direct films with diversity at the center would be amazing. Having a writers room with people from all backgrounds of life so they can effectively tell stories that I can’t.  many children will be able to see themselves or adults who never feel seen will be able to say “I fully relate to this!”. Hopefully the universe will allow me to do that.