ZIne 37: Senite

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Bb: Let’s start six feet deep and swim up, where were you mentally when writing About You? it’s my favorite off of living room. 

Senite: Glad it’s your fav 😊 when I was writing it I was in a very angry place in my life. I wrote it right when the pandemic started, and one of my friends who I looked at as a sister just ghosted me completely. I remember confronting her and being like “wassup?? I feel like there’s tension and we didn’t seem to have problems..” and she completely denied that there was a problem.. but went behind my back and talked to a lot of the same people we knew and basically used me for my kindness and loyalty. Then I realized... damn this girl just made everything about herself this whole time, I wasted 10+ years not even noticing it. All because I was so caught up in pleasing her. The story still hits home when I hear About You, but About You was like my diss and comeback from it.

Bb: Oof that’s the worst, I’m sorry your friendship went down like that. It’s like when people are confronted with open communication, it’s almost a fight or flight mode except the fight is be overly defensive and the flight is run to others to change the narrative first. Why do you think open communication scares some people subconsciously? 

Senite: oof. I don’t know where to start with that one. I think a lot of it comes from the environment you are used too. I have 5 siblings, so confronting an issue head on is something I grew really used too. But with others I think open communication can seem like it can be used against them in some way, or doesn’t give them enough space to formulate the right words the make the conversation well communicated if that makes sense.

Bb: Yeah, It’s not societally normalized to healthily discuss things because doing so would involve shedding entitlement. I think open communication often involves acknowledging that you didn’t have the right to do something, whether that be make someone uncomfortable or assuming you know best. And I think it’s really hard for people to instinctively think “oh, this isn’t my place and that’s okay.” What was it like growing up with so many siblings? I have one but half the time I honestly forget and think I’m an only child lol

Senite: So true. And hahaha it’s never boring that’s for sure!! My siblings are mad supportive and all have individual interests and stuff, so my thing is music and all my other siblings have a main life focus too. It’s great too because I know I’ll always have them around whenever things go wrong or right :)

Bb: Aw that’s beautiful, your connection and that you weren’t pigeonholed in your family. When did you first get involved with music?

Senite: music played a part in my life allll my life. In 2004, I enrolled in a free music school and went there until 2020. I studied piano, guitar and voice and my creative music and poetry writing started around 2013. I started out with poetry, then started writing music composition and lyrics at around 2015, and every year I took it more and more seriously. I’m blessed to be from Chicago so the arts and youth scene is so welcoming, so I really got inspired by the cool people I met. I was releasing music on SoundCloud in 2018 and each song I released I progressed and started working harder to find my sound. It all worked out perfectly and I’m still going strong 😊😊😊😊😊😊

Bb: Music classes can be really discouraging because it feels so personal and a lot of people turn away because of early bad experiences with teachers. What about that school do you think nurtured you?

Senite: For sure. I know a lot of folks that quit because of how discouraging it became. The school is called The People’s Music School, and I think a lot of what nurtured me was the people there. Teachers there worked with some of my idols, and I got to be as creative as I wanted to without feeling judged or put into a specific group. When you’re surrounded with such humble, amazing people (adults and students), you get inspired all the time. Which is exactly how it went. 

Bb: And who do you surround yourself with personally? How do you connect with friends and who do you tend to gravitate towards?

Senite: To be honest, I only hang with myself 😂 it’s so hard nowadays to find the people that are going to be YOUR people, and I really struggled through finding who those people are. A lot of the friends I make I make through music and stuff, but I really connect to people through their passions and how much we can change/empower each other.

Bb: a lot of singers have such distinctive sounds and voices like the Billie Eilish’s, and there’s something addicting in each of their songs because that’s brand haunts you. But I always think of Santigold, who ran the length of the spectrum when it came to indie music. She let her style really go wherever was authentic, not on brand. How would you describe your spectrum of sound?

Senite: I think I’d describe it to be freeing. I make a lot of my music based on my emotions, and how I feel so being able to center that feeling and having people feel it to is the freeing part of it I guess. Beats and instrumentals can only do so much, so using my words to carry my music makes me a true artist in that sense.

Bb: Ooooo what’s your favorite lyric (in this moment) of any artist and what’s your favorite lyric of your own?

Senite: I love CHIKA so much lately and she has this one song on her BALENCIES track that goes “I’m fighting everybody demons but can’t face mine, baseline, use all that pain and anger and just make rhymes” it’s just so true and works lyrically for the song and everything. Prob one of my fav lyrics (of the many lmao) I really love this lyric in Energy, “Pull up when you get success, promise they’ll be there for this. Leave you when you make a mess then take the places that you sit” which is just so true in life with all my bad experiences in relationships it really hits home.

Bb: It’s really beautiful and heavily overlooked, that ability to use punctuating rhymes that are simple and snappy but evoke really resonating thoughts you didn’t know could be worded so simply. Having had some bad experiences in relationships, how do you view connection? Both romantic and platonic?

Senite: I think connection is such an interesting thing to make sure to have in relationships. I usually view it the same why I view what I want. People that usually have polar opposite characteristics can connect by the ability to be loyal or trustworthy, and people with similar characteristics usually bond over what they have in common. I usually connect with people romantically and platonically based on how quickly our vibrations connect, usually based on if we can compliment each other when it comes to our personalities or if I know I can go to them when the time is right. I also like to be like “is this relationship going to last a lifetime? If so, how strong is our connection etc”

Bb: What relationships did you internalize growing up? That’s a broad question with a weird gist but like one example for me would be that a part of my depression came from feeling alone because I didn’t have the coed friend group that I saw in Thats 70’s Show and Dawson’s Creek, etc. Or how a relative manipulating me a certain way led me to seek that out subconsciously. I didn’t mean to have just negative examples, positive ones also Included in the question

Senite: A relationship I internalized was one I had with my dad and my brother. I was a lot closer with my dad, he was my best friend, my go to. I went to him with everything but once he and my brother passed, I had this gaping whole in my heart. I always looked for validation in men in my life or felt like any man that came in my life was sent by the universe to fix me, I hope that answered the question right :)

Bb: I’m so sorry for your loss. Words around loss all sound so cliche or disingenuous now but I can’t even imagine, being close with my dad too. I’m sure he cherished every moment with you. What’s your relationship with validation now? You speak of it with an awareness that implies you have a different perspective now

Senite: My relationship with validation really really changed after my dad passed. I had a really close relationship with him and my brothers, so I always had someone to go to, and always appreciated everything he said to me. I started to cherish more relationships I had with the boys/men in my life, my best friends are mostly boys now. I 100% think it’s because of how much my relationship with men in my life was cherished in the past, I appreciated it more once those men weren’t able to be in my life. Not that I look for validation from men all the time, but when I do get it, it somehow gives me some emotional ease.

Bb: I think that’s a very common feeling for so many varied reasons. I’m happy you found that in other people. Did your dad play a part in your connection creativity?

Senite: he played a role yes, my parents put me into music school at an early age, and my dad really pushed me to find my creativity in it. He was a church man, and would encourage me to write original church songs then it crossed over into more personal songs over time. He really really wanted me to find something to be passionate about, and when he watched me really enjoy writing, he pushed me to perform more and really was my #1 fan for as long as he could be

Bb: Aw that’s beautiful. My dads very much the same. If he sees a spark in my eye, he’s gonna chase down the entire lightning bolt for me. Having a parent or important adult truly *see* you as an artist, that nurturing that comes from them truly seeing you as an equal who just hasn’t had a go at the rodeo yet. There’s something that really removes a sense of limitation to get that, I’m not just placating you or doing the steps, I truly see you loving this and I’m in. I’m game. Let’s go. I find myself trying to be that person for the people in my life. How would you describe yourself as a friend?

Senite: couldn’t agree more. I think as a friend I really am a ride or die. If there’s a good amount of understanding, communication, and reciprocated effort on both sides, I am super supportive and loving and empathetic. I look for the same in friends too :)

Bb: What’re you looking to manifest in your future?

Senite: Success means more than financial success. Although financial stability felt like the goal for the longest time, I saw it as when the yourself and people that helped you get to the top watch how your hard work paid off. Giving back and representing my community has been my dream for so long, to watch kids just like me utilize resources I wish I had or that I DID have, is something I want to do and will really show me what living in success looks like 🧚🏽‍♀️