Zine #08 RE-RELEASE: Enny Owl
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Let me paint you an incredibly cringe picture. It’s 2007 and my music taste is less personal opinion and more whatever will make my crush like me back. And so the story went, girl meets boy, girl has intense anxiety and hyper fixated on the one commonality with the boy and ends up beginning a life long affair with indie singer-songwriters; your Bon Iver’s, Noah & The Whale’s, even sobbing to Keaton Henson. They were the ghostwriters of my overly dramatic diary, If you showed teenage me a scraggly white guy who weighed less than me and waxed poetic about a girl he probably only knew for 5 minutes, I’d probably be in love. For a while I wrote up shiny, tulle covered words as the epitome of emotional evocation. (I learned better eventually, of course, but not before drowning in manic fueled dictionaries. After all this time, the genre is like a familiar, weighted blanket. It’s not that it doesn’t strike a chord with me anymore but it’s like rewatching your favorite show; somehow familiar even when by new players. But when I listen to Enny Owl, it’s like discovering the genre all over again. I’m not back in my childhood bedroom, or disassociating in the alley at the back of my middle school. I’m here and now; stoned and swaying. There’s an immediacy in her emotion that keeps you in the present of your journey. Enny Owl is the perfect sensation; her thumb is directly on the pulse of what’s been buzzing in your brain for weeks but her lyrics twist it in a way that wrenches your heart fresh. Her sound fits smoothly into the scene but there’s something untamed in her polish that stands out. She’s not a breath of fresh air; she’s a constant breeze brimming with pollen and wings. Enny’s artistry has the confidence of a pollinating bee and the delicacy of a blossoming flower.
Baby Ballou: How did your journey in music begin?
Enny: It began at a very young age. I remember being obsessed with Disney movies as a child. I’d sing along with the characters on screen and twirl around in my poofy dresses. My mum saw how much music brought me out of my shell, so she signed me up for a bunch of after school music clubs. In secondary school, I started to want it as a career. That’s when I began doing auditions for different music competitions and local gigs. The moment it all clicked for me was in college though. I was 17 and had just learnt how to play the guitar. That was when I found my sound!
Bb: we love moms who nurture passions. How did it feel when you found your sound? Was there an explosion of possibilities?
Enny: Oh absolutely! I finally understood that I was a story teller. I started to remember the stories I had been writing since I was a child. I remembered the folk and Celtic music my music teacher had played in dublin when I was 12. I also started to see a pattern in the music I was most inspired by. Now that I had found my sound, my dreams became clearer. Before I knew it, there was a list of indie artists I wanted to open for and coming of age films I dreamed to hear my music in one day.
Bb: The indie scene, especially in 2000’s and early 2010’s was white skinny men crooning. Obviously, every genre is white washed but was it hard to find parts of yourself in the existing indie world?
Enny: Oh absolutely! I actually still sometimes struggle with it. It's like I see a part of myself in the indie scene, but then because of the colour of my skin, I wonder if I'll ever fully fit in. I've decided now that I'm okay being the representation I never saw. I may not have seen enough of myself in that world growing up, but at least I get to be that for another black girl
Bb: I think a lot of white music fans, me included, forget to see the dual side of the sword when Black womxn break barriers. It’s beautiful and moving that you’re becoming what you didn’t have, but it’s a direct example of an issue and people tend to romanticize on the positivity of “firsts” rather than the struggle it took to get there and that a three dimensional, human with feelings had to endure that struggle. (that same) we essentially wash over the fact that you, and other Black women, dont have to be fueled by a lack of something, that this isn’t the natural course of things but the result of a society constructed system. How has that decision to be the representation you never saw affected your relationship to your music? Is there an added heaviness or a weight?
Enny: Wow, this is so true! It explains why I get discouraged at times. Being the “first” seems cool, but it’s exhausting to try and achieve. You’re constantly filled with doubt and you wonder if you’re even good enough. It’s funny because when I look at the history of folk music, it all began with black artists telling their stories, but in the forefront, people only picture white artists. It makes me realize how much harder it’s going to be for me to get the amount of recognition that the artists I look up to receive. But again, because that’s the way things are, I just have to keep telling myself that maybe I can inspire others if I keep trying.
Bb: How has quarantine affected your relationship with creativity?
Enny: When quarantine started everyone was being super productive and it actually made me feel the opposite because I was so overwhelmed by this idea that you had to create masterpieces in quarantine. I couldn't keep up so I kinda got a bit lazy about creating anything. Eventually, I started being creative in little ways and not trying to force anything. I made it more about how I was feeling and waited till inspiration struck. I also gave myself permission to relax and binge a show if that's what I wanted instead.
Bb: I have said it once, I’ll say it again and then I will die on this hill. Binge watching tv is therapy. What advice would you give to other musicians who feel shame about rest or not being productive?
Enny: I'd say that you dont need to work on your craft 24/7. Your journey is your journey so dont worry about what anyone else is doing. Allow yourself the luxury to create when you genuinely feel happy to do it. This way, you won't lose the love and passion you have for music. And always remember that recharging is just as important as creating.
Bb: As we re-emerge into a post lockdown world, what’re you looking forward to doing with your artistry?
Enny: Well I’m super excited for the sandbox music video to come out because I’ve been taking dance lessons to truly embrace the artistic movement in my music. It’s going to be a beautiful video that will feature me and two talented dancers. I’m really looking forward to incorporating more dance into my performances. I’ve also currently been looking for band members to help enhance my live performances. I’ll still do acoustic shows for intimate spaces but I want to have the option to do either depending on the venue. I’m excited to give “Songs of a Wallflower” the love it deserves since I wasn’t able to truly promote it during lockdown. I’m also hoping to have some vinyl ready this autumn/ winter.
Bb: Since we last talked in the lockdown of quarantine, you’ve really grown - finding your community in LA, collaborating with dope artists and playing a bunch of shows. How would you describe your journey from then to now?
Enny: It has been such a beautiful journey of self growth and healing! After lockdown, I had a lot of social anxiety, but I pushed myself to go to shows alone. It changed my life because I began to meet and grow the wonderful community I’m surrounded by now. As for all the shows I’ve booked, that has been a snow ball effect! Your zine release was one of my first post lockdown shows and a lot of people have just continued to reach out since then. I also think having a supporting community that constantly shares my music has been a huge help too. I’m honestly just so grateful!
Bb: Having been to your shows, I know the beautiful trance the audience goes into listening to your music and how wrapt in your sound they become. At pop or rock concerts, you find dancing as a way to gauge audience interest. How do you gauge the audience when playing a much more serene and still performance?
Enny: For me it’s the stillness in the room. I can tell that I’ve brought them into my world when everyone is so focused. I can actually feel them being transported. Sometimes I can see people tearing up as well which is such a huge compliment lol
Bb: A lot of your audiences (whether from the line up being queer or the event being queer produced) are made up of a lot of queer people. How have these live shows helped you connect even more to your queer identity?
Enny: Playing in queer spaces has made me feel a lot safer being vulnerable and sharing my art. It’s helped me feel so much more proud to be queer. It’s a small part of who I am but when I was ashamed of it, it felt so heavy. Now it feels like such a special part of my identity. Singing my lyrics to a room full of people who can relate on a deeper level feels so wholesome!
Bb: Last time we talked about navigating the indie space as a Black woman, this time if you’re comfortable, I’d be interested in hearing how it’s been navigating the queer scene as a Black woman
Enny: I’ve noticed that a lot of queer culture is white culture. Everything down to gay references. I once saw a post about how queer women were taking over the music industry and the article didn’t list one black or woman of colour. I love the queer community but it’s also a very white washed space. As a black woman, I don’t really fit into any of the categories that pop culture deems queer. It’s not that I need to fit a category, it’s just disheartening that there’s another space that exists that I sometimes feel like a minority in.
Bb: There’s often times push back from white queers because we falsely justify any wrongdoings under the guise that we, too, are minorities and therefor victims. And it’s fascinating that so many queer references are consumed by white people because they almost all start with a Black drag queen or Black gay icon. Do you ever find white queer people doing a Blaccent or affecting their voice around you into that kind of “gay accent” that’s basically mimicry of Black women?
Enny: The minority thing is so annoying because I constantly have to remind people that my experience as a black queer woman is completely different. I understand that they want it to be the same so we can relate, but in some instances I find myself having to explain that although we share similar experiences, my blackness will always add another layer.
As for the blaccent, that has been such a struggle for me because aave has become such a prevalent part of pop culture that I don’t think people even know what they’re doing. A lot of white gay men have drawn inspiration from black american women and now everything has been diluted and is being referred to as tiktok memes and gen z slang. I’m black british and even I feel uncomfortable using aave so I don’t understand why white people feel the need to use it and especially do it around me. I personally feel like if you don’t talk like that, why put it on? Black women are not caricatures.
Bb: Coming from the UK, were you at all familiar with AAVE or the idea of it before moving?
Enny: A little bit. I used to watch some black American 90’s sitcoms so I kind of just called it black American slang. But then when I moved here and met black Americans they told me it was called ebonics which I think is also called AAVE now
Bb: Looking back, was there anything you experienced in the UK that would be equivalent? I know accents and linguistics are heavily intertwined with region there but it’s also got a lot of people of color and immigrants so I’d imagine there obviously would be but I’m curious as to how it played out for you personally
Enny: Growing up I noticed some white people tried to act a bit “urban” around me because I’m black. I think they wanted me to know they were cool with me or something but it just made me uncomfortable. I’m not sure what it’s like now, but I’d imagine there’s a similar thing happening with newer slangs.
Bb: What’s your favorite slang word? From any community, internet, cultural, etc. i can’t remember if we have the same one or not
Enny: I don’t know if this is a slang, but I say “fanny flutters” a lot cos of maura from Love Island UK lol
Bb: Ahhahahaha that’s a good pick. I know mine is cunt. It’s just really satisfying to say. Like not even at anyone, like phonetically as a word I just love it. Last question, when we last talked, you were looking forward to the sandbox music video coming out. It has and it’s BEAUTIFUL, what’re you looking forward to now?
Enny: I love the word cunt lol Thank you! It was a lot of work and I’m very proud of it. I’m currently working on a new album based on some songs I wrote during lockdown. I’m excited to release new music and continue to grow in my artistry! I’m still working on getting a band to back me during live performances so I can have a bit more freedom to dance during some songs. That’s coming together slowly and I’m sure it’ll work out at the perfect time like everything else does! And then it’d be nice to plan a joint tour in the future with some friends. I’ve done some fun shows with friends in LA and I think it’d be so great to do a tour together one day!