Zine 41: Jaylin of Junk Drawer Zine
I predominantly chat with musicians; not just in my zine but in my professional writing career for other outlets and major publications. That sounds like an attempt at a low-key flex but I promise it’s not. I’m just trying to establish that I’ve talked to A LOT of people who create in a medium we view as incredibly vulnerable, from independent to the shiny, flashy names. Jaylin’s zines, Junk Drawer Zine, stands tall among the most heart wrenching lyrics with her powerfully unguarded zines. Jaylin’s zines are made with an attitude that in films, we iconisize as the strong but sweet cool girl we all wanna be friends with. There are no apologies to be found but there are plenty of calls for accountability. She makes visceral & cutting commentary on the whitewashing of zines and riot grrrls while establishing her love for the movement; doing both without pandering but with sincerity. Then in the same breath, unscrews her scalp to allow you into a threshold of her innermost thoughts - feeling alienated from both communities as a mixed race person, feeling like a fraud in certain circles and femininity in society. Each page is made with the traditional zine influence. Collaged images, rough sketches and the kind of unpolished curation that only serves to make it feel all the more intimate. Jaylin represents the underestimated youth, the marginalized misfits, who refuse to live in the shadows or be quiet.
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Buy Junk Drawer Zine (1-4) here
Alt text from graphics
Baby Ballou: What was your first creative outlet?
Jaylin: my first real outlet that i actually began to express myself in was playing ukulele in my freshman year of high school, which looking back at is kinda cute to me. i found joy in learning little songs on this simple little instrument, and it really helped me grow into my creativity in other aspects like bigger instruments, painting, drawing, making zines and fashion. it helped me to let lose instead of holding myself up to a standard that made me want to quit art as a whole.
Bb: what do you think it was about the ukulele that just clicked with you?
Jaylin: well i sing a little bit so it was an easy way to learn songs and i just fell in love with the idea of making art that was completely done by me and it was a major outlet for me, which i guess transferring into my zine making as well!
Bb: It’s an inherently alluring idea, to make art completely by oneself, but we all aspire to it for different reasons/from different experiences. Why do you think that control of creating your own art without relying on others speak to you so much?
Jaylin: i guess it just feels more like mine and like i have more control over what i’m creating. of course i know nothing i create will ever be completely original but i at least know that what i’m making is giving the exact message that i want it to, or it means something specifically to me and i’m okay with other people interpreting it differently. i think subconsciously i strive to make something amazingly brand new and never seen before, so making something without having to rely on anyone else sort of occupies that void
Bb: How did you rectify celebrating yourself and your uniqueness with this very grounded awareness and acceptance that everything harkens to something? I know rationally that’s what I think but internally, I still have this polarizing either “it’s fine it doesn’t matter because I’m 1 in 7 billion, I don’t matter” or “I’m the main character and a higher being witnesses their creation through my eyes” I struggle to actually create outside of those two factory settings
Jaylin: honestly im not sure, i think i just realized that me wanting to create something totally original was because i wanted the praise for it, so i just had to become aware that this want was my ego speaking. i’ve sort of had to remind myself that art isn’t entirely there for other people to consume, but it’s also there for me to share and create whatever i want to, which shouldn’t be limited to complete originality or uniqueness, it should he about expression and a love for making things
Bb: I like how you didn’t dismiss yourself for your ego. I feel like a lot of us feel the need to almost performatively separate ourselves from our hubris over acknowledging that it has its place and lessons. How does being a young student, having to form ideas of ‘the future,’ in a capitalist society, affect your perception of making art in your life?
Jaylin: more than anything it encourages me to make more art, but even that i’m reluctant of saying. with everything happening with climate change and politics and covid, it’s hard to see my future as anything considered “normal”, so i’m planning to focus on things that make me happy and do whatever i can to prevent the chaos from hitting too hard, but i’m also aware that i’m most likely going to live through some pretty gnarly historical events so i’m just bracing myself at this point. i know art will be something that keeps me somewhat sane throughout it all so i’ll be sure to keep that on my side
Bb: I think sometimes people really like to paint this image of young people being naive and idealistic. There’s the almost simulation breaking awareness a lot of millennials and gen z have of how fucked the world and as a result, a lot of us are just diving head first into what makes us happy in the present and then other generations see everyone being an artist as none of us wanting to work or us believing it’ll all work out. Do you feel like there’s some crossed wires like that too? Or about anything similar?
Jaylin: yes i absolutely agree with that!! although there are probably MANY ways in which i and others my age are completely naive, i hate how a lot of older generations see us as lesser than or stupid because we want to do what we love. our lives shouldn’t be based on profit, and we want to create a reality where they’re not, but a lot of adults see that as something that is unachievable. that may be true but if it is, we want no part of it. so we might as well indulge ourselves in hobbies and things that we love, because if we don’t we have to face the fucked up world that was created for us, and no one wants that
Bb: Yeah, I like that collectively, the two generations decided it was time for the saying, “the older you get, the more conservative you get” to be retired. And I like that we’ve started calling out older generations for being naive in their own ways. What do you value about your generation? Or at least the side of it you operate in?
Jaylin: i value how we’re all much more accepting of each other! well obviously not all of us because there are bigots in every generation, but it’s getting better and better, at least in the side of the internet and world that i reside. we’re better at analyzing the experiences that we have and connecting them to traits that we have, so that we don’t have to pass down our trauma to other people. i just think in general we’re very open minded and accepting, but i recognize that this isn’t strictly just my generation :)
Bb: my mom had me in her 40’s (don’t tell her I told you 🤫 ) so my parents are on the older side for someone my age (25). But they have always prioritized being open minded. My dads a small town boi from Ohio in his mid 60’s who sends me emails about sex work legislation because he wants to check on bias’ or missed points in articles he reads so he actually understands the reality. From a very young age, they really showed me the importance of always seeking to grow and learn. (But I think sometimes that then creates resentment for me with bigoted people of that generation because I’m like, I don’t care if you’re “old,” be better which isn’t the most conducive mentality to sometimes spiral into lolol) but yes, something I’ve always loved and have just been so inspired in seeing become such a strong pattern in the movements and people today and that’s accountability. I think what a lot of people see as political radicalization is actually just a mass movement towards putting ones own ego and position in society aside and holding themselves accountable for pain. How has accountability impacted you both in holding others accountable and in holding yourself?
Jaylin: i tend to be a somewhat egotistical person, like i mentioned a bit ago, so it’s always a bit difficult to admit to other people when i’m wrong. so getting to the point where i can look at myself and admit where i’m being ignorant and offensive and am able to change that has been a bit of a journey, but i know i am forever growing and learning, as is everyone else. holding other people accountable in my personal life has been a bit difficult too, but it really depends who i’m talking to. i do try, though, to tell anyone what’s up so that it can be a learning experience for both of us. i’m a bit of an introvert (im an ambivert but when it comes to confrontation, i completely recoil and end up just saying the first defensive thing that comes to mind) so i really have to push myself to take accountability and think things through or call others out on their shit. it’s all about caring for other people and respecting other people and our differences, so as ling and you yearn to learn about different perspectives, i’m cool with that.
Bb: Junk Drawer Zine which is your multi-edition zine came out with its first edition earlier this year, how has working on it helped you appreciate different perspectives?
Jaylin: just being in that community and seeing all of these people making their own zines has helped me a lot, but also seeing people of color like me being disregarded and seeing the different sides of every situation has helped me be more observant and aware of everyone and their differences you know? also 2020 in general has been really eye opening in the terms of politics and just the world in general, so i try to be open to all perspectives and views
Bb: So speaking of the zine community, how did you first get introduced to it?
Jaylin: i got introduced by the music at first because i had already been listening to a bit of punk music; i found the basics like kathleen hannah and heavens to betsy, and then when i looked up similar people on instagram i found zine creators. i originally just followed a bunch of people and then eventually went on to make my own account and zines! it’s been really cool to meet a bunch of people doing the same thing and create little friendships along the way.
Bb: I first heard of them via 90’s riot grrrl’s too but I didnt do the work and look into it beyond that era and then present day ones. So I truly thought they’d been invented by (if I’m being honest about what middle school me envisioned) mostly white punk girls. And I subconsciously tied it heavily to a particular kind of feminism in doing so that I’ll be honest, was not an intersectional feminism. And that’s on me for just kind of accepting surface level history. For you, how do you view intersectionality within punk and zine culture around that time and it’s effects on now?
Jaylin: intersectional feminism is and should always be the base of zine culture and feminism in general. if we forget about it, then we choose to surrender to the white washed alternative, which honestly is more destructive than revolutionary. intersectional feminism is the most validating thing that ive ever come across, and it has inspired me to become more talkative about my views and speak up when i see someone disregarding the more silenced aspects of feminism.
Bb: Yeah I was not aware when I was introduced. So zines being feminist to me and when I saw them associated mostly with white women and bands, my perception of zines became reductive and I thought of them as ways to address general misogyny and sexual assault. The idea of zines as an outlet for ALL marginalized people just didn’t occur to me or even that they existed before. I bought into the narrative. (Which is on me, I’m not shifting my responsibility to seek education) When you were first introduced to the community and zines and riot grrrl in general, was it the white washed version at first?
Jaylin: oh most definitely it was, which is why now i write about intersectionality and supporting poc artists and creators! it’s something that is so brushed over in the zine community which i think is such bullshit, considering the fact that poc created a lot of what zine culture is today. i try to spread as much awareness and poc content as i can on my instagram page and in my zines, but obviously being a poc my content is also pushed back a bit so it’s sort of a struggle. i do try my best to educate and spread as much information as i can, i’m always down to grow and learn more from different communities!
Bb: What’re some of the big things most people don’t know about poc in zine creation? Like I know there were a couple Black ran zines in the Harlem Renaissance that had allowed for a platform to discuss all the issues faced in the Black experience. Zines have a history of truly bearing its teeth and sharpening its claws into conversations people wanna run away from
Jaylin: i think that’s the main thing that people get misconstrued; that zines didn’t exist before the 1930’s, because when you type “when were zines created” into google, nothing about harlem pops up. i also think that people are under the impression that there aren’t many poc who make zines, but that’s not the case! there are soooo many zines made by and even based on people of color, they’re just extremely suppressed in the media because people tend to go for the white made zines, therefore pushing minorities further and further from the algorithm’s good side. it’s important to try to find these artists because i feel like they’re the one’s who need support the most, especially right now when many people are relying on art to be a source of joy and stability in their lives
Bb: The 90’s are a blind spot for me, I was born in ‘95. my parents being older and my sibling going to college when I was p young, I kinda know ‘60’s thru 80’s and then 2000 on lol so I don’t actually know much about the riot grrrl movement as a whole, zines are my main knowledge. You’re into the music and the scene in a more well rounded way, yeah? What about the music, the movements, etc, that drew you in and who introduced you to it?
Jaylin: i think it’s just the feminist ideals along with the art that really drew me in, both things being some of my main core values and beliefs. it’s also nice feeling like i have a place in the community where i have a purpose, to make it more inclusive and open to anyone and everyone, even if my solo efforts wont do TOO much, it’s nice to feel like i’m at least doing something to make something i’m passionate about even better
Bb: What’s your personal relationship with the internet like? How do you view it?
Jaylin: thats a good question, i’m not too sure myself. i think a lot of the time i use it as a fidget or a distraction, but a lot of the time on the internet, you see the exact things you’re trying to distract yourself from anyways, so at this point its just a procrastination device. but at the same time it can be my inspiration, my access to a new mindset or a new hobby (like zines!), and genuine advice. i feel like whenever i log on it’s a gamble, but i feel like it’s negative and positive effects on me are pretty 50/50
Bb: Yeah, for me, the internet is my social life because (and this is a verbatim quote someone said to me that I’ve never forgotten), a boy at my school made it “cosmopolitan to hate” me. So school was tainted against me for the trend and tumblr and stuff was the only place I found people my age who liked me. So I sometimes feel ways that the internet is corroding me but it’s also so engrained as a major tool of socializing for me that it feels like 80/20 positive when it’s probably also 50/50. How has navigating a social life for you been?
Jaylin: its a loott harder to make friends online!! i struggle with making friends anyways but online you just have to go for it and talk to random strangers until you find someone cool and the idea of that scares me, but i guess not wanting to talk to stangers is a good thing? i have made a few friends online over the years thougH
Bb: Have your irl friends and family read your zines?
Jaylin: most of my friends have but my family isn’t allowed to lol, only one of my sisters has read my first issue but they cant read after that because i find it important to me to maintain my privacy and boundaries with them. my mom has no idea what a zine really is but she’s supportive so i appreciate them respecting me and my art!
Bb: That’s smart. It’s a very personal process and you need to know you can share your personal outlet without worry of someone close taking your pain personally. I’ve definitely ran into conflict with family members who have read and pressured me into redacting some pieces. Lastly, who do you think your zines are for? What kind of reader do you think especially needs to consume then?
Jaylin: well first and foremost my zines are for me and my expression, but other than that my zines are for anyone who can relate to my pieces, poc who feel like they have no place in their community, and any other marginalized group who is able to relate and understand our issues. my goal is to make people feel included and inspire people to make some killer art!